A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.

It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race.

And what is a man without energy? Nothing — nothing at all.

"On with the dance, let joy be unconfined" is my motto, whether there's a dance to dance or any joy to unconfine.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either.

... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often picturesque liar.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.

My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart — a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation.

Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.

For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2
might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.

Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi
ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.

Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

You can't depend on your ideas when your imagination is out of focus.

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.

In India, "cold weather" is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.

Kindness is a language that the deaf can hear and the blind can read.