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Mark Twain | Lars Toomre

Lars Toomre

Some Personal Thoughts and Trivia

Mark Twain

Celebrated American author and humorist (1835 - 1910)

Worst Loneliness Is Not Being Comfortable With Self

Blonde model Jakki Kirchner in a white ribbed dress

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.

Celebrated American author and humorist (1835 - 1910)

Be Careful Reading Health Books

Brunette actress Jennifer Love Hewitt displays her cleavage in a pink dress

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Celebrated American author and humorist (1835 - 1910)

Do Not Part With Your Illusions

Brunette American actress Alison Brie smiles

Do not part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.

Celebrated American author and humorist (1835 - 1910)

My Books Are Like Water

Blonde model and actress Corinna Harney was Playboy's Playmate of the Month for August 1991 and Playmate of the Year for 1992

My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.

Celebrated American author and humorist (1835 - 1910)

Foreigners Always Spell Better Than They Pronounce

Brunette Victoria's Secret model Adriana Lima wears grey dress with slit to hip

They spell it "da Vinci" and pronounce it "da Vinchy". Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce.

Celebrated American author and humorist (1835 - 1910)

Ignorance and Confidence

Brunette German model Marie Nasemann has stunning blue eyes

All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.

Celebrated American author and humorist (1835 - 1910)

Sudden Marriage Of Ideas

Blonde Shanna Marie McLaughlin was Playboy's Playmate of the Month for July 2010

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.

Celebrated American author and humorist (1835 - 1910)

Get The Full Value Of A Joy

Brunette French actress Berenice Marlohe famous for her role in Bond film Skyfall

Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have someone to divide it with.

Celebrated American author and humorist (1835 - 1910)

Work Is A Necessary Evil To Be Avoided

Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.

Celebrated American author and humorist (1835 - 1910)

When In Majority, Pause and Reflect

Brunette model Erica Campbell poses in open white sweater showing cleavage

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

Celebrated American author and humorist (1835-1910)

Old Folks Rise Early

Brunette American actress Mariska Hargitay poses in red shirt on Law & Order set

Well enough for old folks to rise early, because they have done so many mean things all their lives they can’t sleep anyhow.

Celebrated American author and humorist (1835 - 1910)

Eat What You Like

Blonde beauty Heather Kozar was Playmate of the Month for January 1998

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

Celebrated American author and humorist (1835 - 1910)

Everyone Has A Dark Side

Blonde model Shannon James in blue transparent top

Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.

Celebrated American author and humorist (1835-1910)

Wholesale Returns Of Conjecture

Brunette Jaime Edmonston was Playboy's Playmate of the Month for January 2010

There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.

Celebrated American author and humorist (1835 - 1910)

The Product Of Slavery Never Can Be Great

Blonde Playboy model Jennifer Lynn smiles wearing a pink shirt

What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn’t have done it. Who was it who said, Blessed is the man who has found his work? Whoever it was he had the right idea in his mind. Mark you, he says his work — not somebody else’s work. The work that is really a man’s own work is play and not work at all. Cursed is the man who has found some other man’s work and cannot lose it. When we talk about the great workers of the world we really mean the great players of the world. The fellows who groan and sweat under the weary load of toil that they bear never can hope to do anything great. How can they when their souls are in a ferment of revolt against the employment of their hands and brains? The product of slavery, intellectual or physical, can never be great.

Celebrated American author and humorist (1835 - 1910)

Mark Twain on Bankers

American blonde model Casey Parker

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

Celebrated American author and humorist (1835-1910)

Teach Anybody How To Get What They Want Out Of Life

I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.

Celebrated American author and humorist (1835 - 1910)

Enough To Make A Body Ashamed Of The Human Race

Brunette beauty Olivia Culpo was Miss Rhode Island USA 2012

It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race.

Celebrated American author and humorist (1835 - 1910)

What Is A Man Without Energy?

Brunette Jillian Beyor

And what is a man without energy? Nothing — nothing at all.

Celebrated American author and humorist (1835 - 1910)

On With The Dance, Let Joy Be Unconfined

Brunette beauty Erin Edmiston was Miss Louisiana USA 2012

"On with the dance, let joy be unconfined" is my motto, whether there's a dance to dance or any joy to unconfine.

Celebrated American author and humorist (1835 - 1910)