What, Sir, would the people of the earth be without women? They would be scarce, Sir, almighty scarce.

Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.

The history of our race, and each individual’s experience, are sown thick with evidence that a truth is not hard to kill and that a lie told well is immortal.

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation.

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

Truth is the most valuable thing we have — so let us economize it.

She is not refined. She is not unrefined. She keeps a parrot.

Do something every day that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.

Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.

Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.

Except a person be part coward, it is not a compliment to say he is brave.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.