Lars Toomre

Some Personal Thoughts and Trivia


If Happy I Can Be

Brunette beauty Brittany Stenovitch was Miss Rhode Island USA 2013

If happy I can be I will, if suffer I must I can.

Author of Absalom, Absalom!, p. 1936

Who Suffers Will Have No Regrets

Who suffers will have no regrets.

Who Suffers Will Live Long

Blonde beauty Karina Marie was Playboy's Playmate of the Month for January 2013

Who suffers will live long.

Suffer The Pain Of Discipline

We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment.

American entrepreneur, author and motivational speaker (1930 - 2009)

The Artist's Way Every Day - September 2nd

Blonde American actress and model Ashley Kelsey in a pink shirt

Teaching those around us what our priorities are — and remembering them ourselves — makes for harmonious relationships. Clarifying ourselves to others brings honest connections that are grounded in mutual respect. Honesty starts with us. Identifying those who habitually abuse our time and energies is pivotal, but identifying them is only step one. Avoiding them is step two, and this is where a lot of us stumble. It is as if we doubt we have a right to tranquility, respect, and good humor. Shouldn't we really suffer? Shouldn't we find it more spiritual not to upset the status quo? Artificial acceptance of people and circumstances we resent makes us ill tempered. A little honest self-love does wonders for our personality, and for our art.

To Try And Fail

Blonde Cypriot model Natasha Anastasia poses wearing a blue bra

To try and fail is at least to learn; to fail to try is to suffer the inestimable loss of what might have been.

American business executive, public administrator, and author of pioneering work in management theory (1886 - 1961)

Have Compassion For All Beings

Blonde beauty Shandi Finnessey from her appearance on Dance With Stars

Have compassion for all beings, rich and poor alike; each has their suffering. Some suffer too much, others too little.


Founder of Buddhism (568 - 488 BC)

Calls For Our Utmost Circumspection

Let us contemplate our forefathers, and posterity, and resolve to maintain the rights bequeathed to us from the former, for the sake of the latter. The necessity of the times, more than ever, calls for our utmost circumspection, deliberation, fortitude, and perseverance. Let us remember that ‘if we suffer tamely a lawless attack upon our liberty, we encourage it, and involve others in our doom.’ It is a very serious consideration that millions yet unborn may be the miserable sharers of the event.

Speech in Boston, 1771

Sex Is Better Than Talk

Raven-haired adult film actress Tylar Jacobs smiles

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.

American screenwriter, director, actor, and comedian (born 1935)

Kyra Gets Into College

Kyra Toomre stands tall over her mother Eugenia "Nina" Middleton, Nov. 2011

Recently my ex-wife, Eugenia Middleton (aka "Nina"), informed me that our daughter, Kyra Toomre, has received her first college acceptance letter. Supposedly, the university to which Kyra was accepted has "a good environmental policy program and an excellent theater program." Nina was pleased for Kyra and assumed that I would be too.

This is indeed good news. I am sure that Kyra feels much better that at least some college wants her to be a part of their student body. It should be noted that this latter point is conjecture as Kyra for whatever reason(s) has repeatedly and adamantly refused to have any communication whatsoever with her father and the rest of the paternal side of her family since April 2005.

This college news also raises some concerns, which other parents might also share. First, this particular university has a reputation among some as a "party school" and for hard drinking and such. Perhaps the reality of this university is different than one of its popular caricatures which might be summarized as "a Southern party school for upper middle-class kids from the Northeast." One does not know yet whether that caricature is an accurate portrayal or not.

Further, the university is located near an area with an abnormally high crime rate, which naturally worries any parent about the safety of their child. Finally, what was most disconcerting about this news was there had been absolutely no prior communication that Kyra was even considering this college, let alone going to apply for an early decision. In short, there simply had been no need to become even somewhat educated about this college's relative strengths and weaknesses before her application.

The current situation with Kyra is hardly a surprise, though. As has been the case for nearly the last seven years, there has been extremely limited direct communication between Kyra's father and both Kyra and her mother. Very sadly, such circumstances are often the end result when one parent is thought to suffer from a condition commonly referred to as Parental Alienation Syndrome ("PAS").

For those less informed, Lars Toomre has previously written about PAS here, here and here. PAS can be characterized as a continuing condition where the selfish, vindictive and malicious actions (including systematic denigration) by one parent, most of frequently the mother, are intended to alienate the child against the child's other parent, typically the non-residential father. Such highly manipulative, malicious behavior is considered by many to be a form of child abuse. Sadly, it frequently manifests itself in cases of contested divorce, especially those where one parent subconsciously uses the child almost as a weapon in custody and child rearing disputes.

Develop Strength

Super model Petra Nemcova looks through a book wearing black dress

Develop the strength to do bold things, not the strength to suffer.

Italian philosopher, writer and politician, known for The Prince (1469 - 1527)