Lars Toomre

Some Personal Thoughts and Trivia

Safety

Guide His Valor To Act In Safety

Brunette actress Selena Gomez walks on beach wearing light blue bikini

'Tis much he dares; and, to that dauntless temper of his mind, he hath a wisdom that doth guide his valour to act in safety.

From Macbeth, Act III, scene 1 (1564 - 1616)

I Have Two Great Enemies

Blonde model Imogen Bailey wears blue bikini top and shorts at the beach

I have two great enemies, the southern army in front of me and the financial institutions, in the rear. Of the two, the one in the rear is the greatest enemy... I see in the future a crisis approaching that unnerves me and causes me to tremble for the safety of my country. As a result of the war, corporations have been enthroned and an era of corruption in high places will follow, and the money power of the country will endeavor to prolong its reign by working upon the prejudices of the people until wealth is aggregated in a few hands and the Republic is destroyed. I feel at this moment more anxiety for the safety of my country than ever before, even in the midst of the war.

President of the United States during the American Civil War, 1861-65 (1809 - 1865)

Those Who Give Up Essential Liberty

Brunette model Gracie Carvalho sitting by pool in a red bikini

Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety.

One of the Founding Fathers of the United States who was extremely talented in many subjects (1706 - 1790)

The Artist's Way Every Day - March 19th

Blonde model Danica Thrall sits in a red, white and blue bikini

Gentleness, encouragement, safety — these are the watchwords to be put in place for criticism. I have been writing for thirty years. I have seen more good writing destroyed by bad criticism than I ever have seen bad writing helped by good criticism. I have watched valid and valuable books be picked to pieces by too many editors. I have watched plays start to find their feet, only to be tripped up by too many people contributing fixes. It is a metaphysical law that "the first rule of magic is containment." Nowhere should that law be more rigorously applied than to our writing.

The Artist's Way Every Day - January 30th

Blonde Sports Illustrated model Esti Ginzburg in a blue pattern bikini

When we are using writing to do the work of integration, writing is not only the river but often the bridge across the river. Writing is not only the chasm where we enter in terror to deal with frightening feelings but also the rope we throw across the chasm, the rope we use to pull ourselves to safety. The dailiness of writing allows us not only to walk into change and through it but also to record change in tine mangeable increments, to find grounding when our lives feel unhorsed.

Thought for Today: Holding Patterns

Teal waters off of Ofu Island at American Samoa National Park

Perhaps life is a bit like holding patterns, perhaps we need to appreciate that sometimes people come into and leave our lives for reasons we will never know. Perhaps that is the time we were merely in a holding position, holdings is not so bad, holding is healing, a safety net, a distraction from alonenes, a growth possibility if we like, whether you are the one that held or was held, cherish the hold. Somewhere there are always great memories, that if you work on can overwhelm a sad one.

Four Sorrows For The United States

Blonde beauty Bianca Elena Constantin was Miss Universe Romania 2009

Four sorrows are certain to be visited on the United States. Their cumulative effect guarantees that the U.S. will cease to resemble the country outlined in the Constitution of 1787.

First, there will be a state of perpetual war, leading to more terrorism against Americans wherever they may be and a spreading reliance on nuclear weapons among smaller nations as they try to ward off the imperial juggernaut.

Second is a loss of democracy and Constitutional rights as the presidency eclipses Congress and is itself transformed from a co-equal ‘executive branch’ of government into a military junta.

Third is the replacement of truth by propaganda, disinformation, and the glorification of war, power, and the military legions.

Lastly, there is bankruptcy, as the United States pours its economic resources into ever more grandiose military projects and shortchanges the education, health, and safety of its citizens.

One Cannot Trust Existence

Brunette model Lola Corwin showers in blue pattern bikini

If the whole existence is one, and if the existence goes on taking care of trees, of animals, of mountains, of oceans — from the smallest blade of grass to the biggest star — then it will take care of you too. Why be possessive? The possessiveness shows simply one thing — that you cannot trust existence. You have to arrange separate security for yourself, safety for yourself; you cannot trust existence. Non-possessiveness is basically trust in existence. There is no need to possess, because the whole is already ours.

Osho

Indian mystic and spiritual teacher

The Artist's Way Every Day - August 21st

Blonde model Elena Santarelli in white swimsuit

As an artist, it does me good to have the safety of the Morning Pages that I write daily. There is a steadiness to the Pages. They "mother" me. It also does me good to take an Artist Date, a small soupcon of adventure, a tiny act of daring, like piloting a pony or balancing on the stump of a tree. I do not need a big adventure, just the smallest something will do. When I manage it, I feel my heart tug upward, making its own tricornered smile.

Safety In Numbers

Blonde Alana Blanchard lays on the beach in a pink bikini

There is safety in numbers.

Liberty and Safety

Redhead Jennifer Lyn Jackson, Playmate of Month for April 1989

Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.

One of the Founding Fathers of the United States who was extremely talented in many subjects (1706-1790)

The Artist's Way Every Day - June 21st

Blonde Colombian model Natalia Paris poses in a yellow bikini

Creativity flourishes when we have a sense of safety and self-acceptance. Your artist, like a small child, is happiest when feeling a sense of security. As our artist's protective parent, we learn to place our artist with safe companions. Toxic playmates can capsize out artist's growth.

Creativity Flourishes With Sense of Safety

Brunette beauty Alejandra Alvarez was Miss Earth Costa Rica 2010

Creativity flourishes when we have a sense of safety and self-acceptance.

Teach Children To Love With Safety

Kyra Toomre at Christmas time 2009

Perhaps the best function of parenthood is to teach the young creature to love with safety, so that it may be able to venture unafraid when later emotion comes; the thwarting of the instinct to love is the root of all sorrow and not sex only but divinity itself is insulted when it is repressed. To disapprove, to condemn the human soul shrivels under barren righteousness.

British explorer and travel writer (1893 - 1993)

Kyra Gets Into College

Kyra Toomre stands tall over her mother Eugenia "Nina" Middleton, Nov. 2011

Recently my ex-wife, Eugenia Middleton (aka "Nina"), informed me that our daughter, Kyra Toomre, has received her first college acceptance letter. Supposedly, the university to which Kyra was accepted has "a good environmental policy program and an excellent theater program." Nina was pleased for Kyra and assumed that I would be too.

This is indeed good news. I am sure that Kyra feels much better that at least some college wants her to be a part of their student body. It should be noted that this latter point is conjecture as Kyra for whatever reason(s) has repeatedly and adamantly refused to have any communication whatsoever with her father and the rest of the paternal side of her family since April 2005.

This college news also raises some concerns, which other parents might also share. First, this particular university has a reputation among some as a "party school" and for hard drinking and such. Perhaps the reality of this university is different than one of its popular caricatures which might be summarized as "a Southern party school for upper middle-class kids from the Northeast." One does not know yet whether that caricature is an accurate portrayal or not.

Further, the university is located near an area with an abnormally high crime rate, which naturally worries any parent about the safety of their child. Finally, what was most disconcerting about this news was there had been absolutely no prior communication that Kyra was even considering this college, let alone going to apply for an early decision. In short, there simply had been no need to become even somewhat educated about this college's relative strengths and weaknesses before her application.

The current situation with Kyra is hardly a surprise, though. As has been the case for nearly the last seven years, there has been extremely limited direct communication between Kyra's father and both Kyra and her mother. Very sadly, such circumstances are often the end result when one parent is thought to suffer from a condition commonly referred to as Parental Alienation Syndrome ("PAS").

For those less informed, Lars Toomre has previously written about PAS here, here and here. PAS can be characterized as a continuing condition where the selfish, vindictive and malicious actions (including systematic denigration) by one parent, most of frequently the mother, are intended to alienate the child against the child's other parent, typically the non-residential father. Such highly manipulative, malicious behavior is considered by many to be a form of child abuse. Sadly, it frequently manifests itself in cases of contested divorce, especially those where one parent subconsciously uses the child almost as a weapon in custody and child rearing disputes.