We are responsible for own effectiveness, for our own happiness, and ultimately ... for most of our circumstances.

Our tendency is to project out of our own autobiographies what we think other people want or need. We project our intentions on the behavior of others. If they don't interpret our effort as a deposit, our tendency is to take it as a rejection of our well-intentioned effort and to give up.

The more people are into quick fix and focus on the acute problems and pain, the more that very approach contributes to the underlying chronic condition.

As well as empowering you to put first things first, weekly organizing gives you the freedom and the flexibility to handle unexpected events, to shift appointments if you need to, to savior relationships and interactions with others, to deeply enjoy spontaneous experiences, knowing that you have proactively organized your week to accomplish key goals in every area of your life.

Intrinsic security doesn't come from what other people think of us or how they treat us. It doesn't come from our circumstances or our position. It comes from within. It comes from accurate paradigms and correct principles deep in our mind and heart. It comes from inside-out congruence, from living a life of integrity in which our daily habits reflect our deepest values.

While the word proactivity is now fairly common in management literature, it is a word that you won't find in most dictionaries. It means that as human beings, we are responsible for our own lives. Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions. We can subordinate feelings to values. We have the initiative and the responsibility to make things happen.

Happiness, like unhappiness, is a proactive choice.

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People embody many of the fundamental principles of human effectiveness. These habits are basic; they are primary. They represent the internalization of correct principles upon which enduring happiness and success are based.

Test the principle of proactivity for thirty days and see what happens. Make small commitments and keep them. Be a light, not a judge. Be a model, not a critic. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Our behavior is governed by principles. Living in harmony with them brings positive consequences; violating them brings negative consequences. We are free to choose our response in any situation; but in doing so, we choose the attendant consequence. "When we pick up one end of the the stick, we pick up the other."

Renewal is the principle — and the process — that empowers us to move on an upward spiral of growth and change, of continuous improvement.

I've come to believe that the key to interpersonal synergy is intrapersonal synergy, that is synergy within ourselves. The heart of intrapersonal synergy gives the internal security sufficient to handle the risks of being open and vulnerable. By internalizing our principles, we develop authenticity and abundance mentality of Win-Win.

A character rich in integrity, maturity and Abundance Mentality has a genuineness that goes far beyond technique, or lack of it, in human interaction.

Efficient management without effective leadership is, as one individual has phrased it, "like straightening deck chairs on the RMS Titantic."

To begin with the end in mind means to begin each day with my deepest values firmly in mind. Then as the vicissitudes, as the challenges come, I can make my decisions based on those values. I can act with integrity. I don't have to react to the emotion, the circumstance. I can the truly proactive, value driven, because my values are clear.

It is so much easier to blame other people, conditioning, or conditions for our own stagnant situation. But we are responsible — "response-able" — to control our lives and to powerfully influence our circumstances by working on be, on what we are.

As we continue to grow and mature, we become increasingly aware that all of nature is interdependent, that there is an ecological system that governs nature, including society. We further discover that the higher reaches of our nature have to do with our relationships with others — that human life also is interdependent.

Principles are not values. A gang of theives can share values, but they are in violation of the fundamental principles we're talking about. Principles are the territory. Values are maps. When we value correct principles, we have truth — a knowledge of things as they are.

In addition to self-awareness, imagination, and conscience, it is the fourth human endowment — independent will — that really makes effective self-management possible. It is the ability to make decisions and choices and to act in accordance with them. It is is the ability to act rather than to be acted upon, to proactively carry out the program we have developed through the other three endowments. Empowerment comes from learning how to use this great endowment in the decisions we make every day.

The core of any family is what is changeless, what is always going to be there — shared vision and values. By writing a family mission statement, you give expression to its true foundation.

As a principle-centered person, you see things differently. And because you see things differently, you think differently, you act differently. Because you have a high degree of security, guidance, wisdom, and power that flows from a solid, unchanging core, you have the foundation of a highly proactive and highly effective life.

Whatever is at the center of our life will be the source of our security, guidance, wisdom, and power.

Love — the feeling — is a fruit of love, the verb.

Reactive people make it [love] a feeling. Hollywood has generally scripted us to believe that we are a product of our feelings. But the Hollywood script does not describe the reality. If our feelings control our actions, it is becasue we have abdicated our responsibility and empowered them to do so.

When you can see only two alternatives — yours and the "wrong" one — you can look for a synergistic third alternative. There's almost always a third alternative, and if you work with a Win-Win philosophy and really seek to understand, you usually can find a solution that will be better for everyone concerned.

Begin today with the image, picture, or paradigm of the end of your life as your frame of reference or the criterion by which everything else is examined. By keeping that end clearly in mind, your can make certain that whatever you do on any particular day does not violate the criteria you have defined as supremely important, and that each day of your life contributes in a meaningful way to the vision you have of your life as a whole.

Lose-Win people bury a lot of feelings. And unexpressed feelings come forth later in uglier ways. Psychosomatic illnesses often are the reincarnation of cumulative resentment, deep disappointment and disillusionment repressed by the Lose-Win mentality. Disproportionate rage or anger, overreaction to minor provocation, and cynicism are other embodiments of suppressed emotion.

People who are constantly repressing, not transcending, feelings toward a higher meaning find that it affects the quality of their self-esteem and eventually the quality of their relationships with others.

The ability to subordinate an impulse to a value is the essence of the proactive person. Reactive people are driven by feelings, by circumstances, by conditions, by their environment. Proactive people are driven by values — carefully thought about, selected, and internalized values.

The more aware we are of our basic paradigms, maps, or assumptions, and the extent to which we have been influenced by our experience, the more we can take responsibility for those paradigms, examine them, test them against reality, listen to others and be open to their perceptions, thereby getting a larger picture and a far more objective view.

Most of us think we don't have enough time to exercise. What a distorted paradigm! We don't have time not to. We're talking about three to six hours a week — or a minimum of thirty minutes a day, every other day. That hardly seems an inordinate amount of time considering the tremendous benefits in terms of the impact on the other 162-165 hours of the week.

Integrity includes but goes beyond honesty. Honesty is telling the truth — in other words, conforming our words to reality. Integrity is conforming reality to our words — in other words, keeping promises and fulfilling expectations. This requires an integrated character, a oneness, primarily with self but also with life.